Excerpts from Sex, Love and Marriage

May 30, 2016
Following are two brief excerpts from Paul Flaman's book, Sex, Love and Marriage.

CONSCIENCE

In forming one's conscience it is important to have a realistic humble knowledge of oneself in relation to others. We all have a limited understanding of reality and can learn from others.

Prayer, a personal relationship and intimate dialogue and communion with the living personal God, can help us to see everything in the perspective of infinite love and eternity.

St. Ignatius of Loyola said that major decisions concerning choosing one's state in life should take into account such things as how we would feel about the decision on our death bed and what is for the greater service and praise of God.

In helping someone such as a confused teenager or married couple, . . . it is often good not to begin with a long lecture but to help them to see what they consider to be the relevant facts, values and norms for the issue they are considering in their situation.

If there are gaps in their knowledge and understanding, then one can help them fill in those gaps.

FACTORS IN MARITAL BREAKDOWN

With industrialization and urbanization many are required for work reasons to move away from their extended family with its supports.

As a result, the nuclear family in general has become more isolated and the relationship of the married couple more intense. If there are problems these tend to be intensified.

When the nuclear family was close to the extended family the relationship of the spouses tended to be more diffused.

On the other hand, if the spouses within a more isolated nuclear family manage to develop a good marriage, some speak of a more "relational marriage."

Many couples today are not involved with a church or other religious support, and do not have the community support Christian or other religious communities can provide marriages and families.